Harry Potter 6: A Snippy Book-to-Film Review

**If you don't realize this will contain spoilers for everything about Harry Potter, you deserve to have the plot ruined for you.**

My first reaction upon seeing the credits appear at the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was, "Jesus, that was fast." Of course, not literally, given that the movie clocks in over two and a half hours (like its predecessors). But, for those who enjoy the most literal translations from text to film as I do, covering more than 650 pages in 153 minutes makes those minutes go by rather quickly. As has always been the case in these movies, excluding the first, the time Harry spends away from Hogwarts is trimmed down to the barest of minimums. Conversations between students, especially those who aren't of the main trifecta, are typically cut out or replaced with leaner, more to-the-point versions. Inner turmoil that spans dozens of pages of inner monologue is turned into a pensive look or heavy sigh.

While all of these changes make fanboys such as myself give our own pensive looks and heavy sighs, they typically do not harm the plot or overall feel of the movie. They detract from some of the depth of the original text, but that is to be expected with any adaptation, especially one with such lengthy and exposition-heavy source material. You can't just judge a movie based on how much is missing. There are, however, some cuts that are simply silly or unjustifiable.

The rushed beginning just sets a weird tone for the movie, at least for me. As has been the case for most of the films, the kids are back at Hogwarts within the first 15 or so minutes of the movie, while in the book Harry doesn't reach the steps of the castle until the bottom of page 161. 25% of the book becomes less than 10% of the movie. That's effed up. Without the exposition, asides, conversations, inner monologues, lengthy descriptions, and all that go with those, there is essentially no tone set for the story. Yes, we get it, London is grayer than usual. Diagon Alley is practically deserted. But why? I'm sure people can work out for themselves that "bad things are happening" in the world, but without the Ministry leaflets and shuffling parents and anxious families, it doesn't feel the same. Would it have been so hard to put a "U NO POO" sign on the Weasley storefront? And by the way, I still haven't forgotten that they never bothered to explain the founding of the shop and their start-up funding. Blergh.

When they get on the train, there are finally some things that go alright. Harry eavesdropping on Malfoy, while not as informative or incendiary as in the book, is an interesting scene and one of the only times Malfoy gets to say anything in the movie. For someone with such a key role in the climax of the film, you'd think they'd have bothered to give him more than 6 or 8 lines. And I'm not exaggerating either. He spends most of the movie frowning, looking withdrawn, or weeping like a little bitch. On the train, it's Luna that finds Harry instead of Tonks, which doesn't really change anything but leads to a personal problem I have with the cuts.

*deep breath*

WTF, movie makers?!? Are you so heartless that you seriously could not spend 20 seconds on the faltering romance between Tonks and Lupin? I know it wasn't addressed in the last movie, but Jesus, all of a sudden she's calling him "love" or something and we're just assuming they're together? Their turmoil is so interesting and so simple to throw into the story, and yet it went the way of the Marauder's Map in the third movie. Glossed over, morphed into something less complicated. Gah.

*exhalation*

That, of course, is just my personal preference. While their subplot is undoubtedly interesting, what with Tonks losing her transfigurative powers and changing her patronus, and Lupin going underground with the werewolves, it's not necessary to move the main story along. And boy did that story move. Once the students got to the school, the Fall-Winter-Spring progression was at a breakneck pace, as has been the case since at least movie #4. The Apparation training and tests, which helped to create a timeline and decent pacing in the book, are totally absent from the movie. Outside of the side-along version with Dumbledore towards the end, nobody under 25 Apparates anywhere. I don't know if, in the next movie, there will just be some throw-away line like Hermione says, "hey, it's really fortunate that we were able to learn how to Apparate over the summer, eh?" but we all know that would be bullshit. Or rather, it's going to be bullshit, since it's most certainly going to happen like that. Mark my words.

One thing I didn't particularly understand was an addition to the plot at the Burrow. Or rather, complete replacement of the scene at the Burrow. Over Christmas break, in the book, everyone enjoys a relaxing time at the Weasley residence and spends most of their time talking about the ominous events our in the world or otherwise complaining about Fleur Delacour. Except that apparently Bill and Charlie no longer matter, Fleur isn't with Bill or otherwise doesn't matter anymore, and Christmas wasn't exciting enough. In the movie, there are about two minutes of a calm evening before Bellatrix and Fenrir show up, trick Harry into chasing them, are forced to abort their unexplained mission, and then blow up the Weasley house. I'm not kidding. It's probably a total of three minutes long. They show up, lure Harry out into a random corn field, then leave and set fire to the Burrow on their way out. Why? WTF? What does David Yates have against the Weasley family? Worse still, this seems like a bit of mischief and not at all a planned assassination attempt. It wasn't exciting, and it wasn't necessary at all. For all of the cuts that appear to have been made in the name of expediting the plot or only keeping that which progresses the story, why does this addition matter?

Even more than this, I am annoyed by changes to the Malfoy Mission subplot. In the book, Harry suspects Malfoy of some misdeed, and we are left to wonder to what extent he is just obsessing. We know, for example, that Malfoy has been given a task by Lord Voldemort and that Snape has promised to aid him, but the nature and extent of this task are unknown to us until the plan comes to fruition at the end of the book. In the movie, however, we see Malfoy looking specifically at the vanishing cabinet at Borgin & Burkes right at the beginning, then at the vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement not long after that. We see what room he's using, for what purpose, and even those unfamiliar with the plot should be able to figure out how the cabinets work WAAAAY before the big reveal should have taken place.

Along with this change comes a shift in the way this plot connects to Harry throughout the year. Instead of being chastised (most often by Hermione) for obsessing over Malfoy and not focusing on his studies (which, btw, are entirely absent...it's like they're not even in school), Harry is made to seem only occasionally interested in Draco's actions. It seems like he cares what Malfoy is up to when there's not a lot else going on. Sadly, this also leaves no room for my absolute favorite line in the entire series of novels: "I need to know what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you." That's what she said.

When Malfoy's plan finally works and the Death Eaters enter the school, perhaps the foulest crime of all is commited. There is NO battle. None. No teachers, students, aurors, or ANYONE is involved in any kind of skirmish. If Harry hadn't been present for the Death Eaters' arrival, I would say no one would have even known anything had happened until morning. It was a stealth operation and it was REALLY FUCKING BORING. None of Harry's friends took the Felix Felicis potion to avoid being hit by spells, no Order members arrived to fight the Death Eaters, and Bill isn't mauled by Fenrir Greyback. Of course, since Bill and Fleur and Charlie are all apparently the lesser Weasleys, that isn't a huge loss to the movie, but it certainly matters to me. Bill's injury is the event that sets up the reveal of Tonks' refused affections for Lupin (which doesn't take place in the film, so needn't occur). Overall, this scene was cut so short and had so little an effect that it barely needed to have happened at all. If you're going to have Malfoy working on a plan for two hours of movie time, at least give the boy a chance to have a big finale with it.

An omission that only bothered me a little but still bears mentioning is the lack of mention of the Minister of Magic. Though the appointing of a new minister appears as a headline on the Daily Prophet, Rufus Scrimgeour as a character doesn't appear, Fudge and Scrimgeour don't meet with the "other Minister", and Scrimgeour doesn't meet with Harry to try to "convert" him to be on the Ministry's side. Without this conversation, Harry does not get to proclaim that he is "Dumbledore's man, through and through", which I always thought made the last 50 pages of the book matter a whole lot more (and give additional meaning to his turmoil throughout book 7).

The relationship between Harry and Dumbledore seems strange anyway. They are clearly closer than student and headmaster, but Michael Gambon's portrayal of Dumbledore has never tickled my fancy; specifically, I never got the sense that Dumbledore of Azkaban and on had the same churning history and goofy personality as that of the novels' and even of Richard Harris' Dumbledore. The Dumbledore of The Half-Blood Prince doesn't strike me as someone who might have "acid pops" as his office door's password. Of course it is a waste of space to lament to replacement of actors, given that both the original actor and the character are dead, but it still leaves something to be desired, at least for me.

Given this emotional void, I would have really liked to see Dumbledore's funeral. His notoriety/fame/reveredness in the magical community has been toned down to nonexistence in the movies, so it would have meant something to see wizards and witches from the world over paying their respects. But instead we got a wand-light vigil. Which was touching, but insufficient. I planned to cry at the end of this movie and didn't. I cry at both books five and six, and god help me I wail throughout half of book 7, and yet I have never shed a tear at one of these movies. This is from the person who will cry at almost any work of fiction. I've cried for episodes of CSI and ER for chrissakes, and this beloved tale of a wizard can't squeeze a single drop from my ducts? Shameful.

There is one subplot that I was glad to see go, however; the whole Gaunts thing was a great backstory with no bearing on anything. As academically interesting as I find Voldemort's family history, it really doesn't matter for any reason. Once Dumbledore can explain the origin of the black ring, the whole Gaunt family becomes moot. Sure, it would have been interesting to hear about Merope's love for a muggle who despised her and left her while she was pregnant, and it would have been interesting to hear about her death, and it would have been interesting to hear about the teenage Tom Riddle's journey to his hometown to kill his father's family and blame his crazy uncle, but these are anecdotes to me. If they had been included in the movie, I might have lobbied for their replacement with more substantial scenes.

Speaking of lobbying for more substantial scenes, how much of Lavender do we need to see before we get it? Yeah, okay, she loves Ron and Hermione's pissed. Check. I think we got that after about 15 seconds. Did we need to devote so much time and effort to pound that baby into the ground? As much as that stuff provided some desperately-needed comic relief, I found myself getting quickly annoyed with Lavender's frequent appearances in favor of missing plot points concerning Ginny, Quidditch (again underused and underrepresented compared to the book), Slughorn, Voldemort, Dumbledore, or even Hagrid. He's in the movie for like 10 seconds, and at the end we're led to believe he could be dead until he appears at the scene of Dumbledore's death. I think Yates has a grudge against Hagrid just like he does against the Weasleys.

There were other very minor things that I missed or disliked but can't take too much issue with. The Dursleys are absent from the movie, but I didn't really miss them...though I would have liked to see beverages gently assaulting them on their heads. Madam Rosmerta isn't really seen, nor has she been placed under the Imperius curse. Stan Shunpike hasn't been arrested nor has Mundungus Fletcher been stealing Sirius' things. Well, technically they're Harry's inherited possessions, but since the issue of Sirius' will is never addressed, we don't know that they belong to Harry. How they intend to square that with the threesome's use of 12 Grimmauld Place throughout the beginning of the next movie remains to be seen. Knowing this director, they'll skip directly to camping. Goddamned cuts.

Overall, I found this movie to be lacking in the same way that 4 and especially 5 were. Some cuts were brutal, others didn't make sense, and some additions were confusing and annoying. As films, they work fine and I'm sure will be more enjoyable to watch now that I've gotten this out of my system, but I still find them to be rushed and too focused on streamlining the plot down to the bare essentials. I find myself disagreeing on what those bare essentials are and I'm annoyed that half of the omissions from the movie dictate what cannot possibly work in the remaining two films. While I enjoyed book six, it is not my favorite; book seven, however, is tied for the top spot (with either book 3 or 5, depending on the day). If they fuck up these last movies, I'll lose it. I swear to god.

Questions:
☼ How will the next movie open, if the Burrow is destroyed and Bill & Fleur are not getting married?
☼ Will Harry sever ties with Ginny before leaving on his mission or will they just pine for each other the whole time?
☼ Will Lupin and Tonks have a baby?
☼ Will Mad-Eye Moody, Lupin, Tonks, Fred, Dobby, Hedwig, Crabbe, and Colin Creevey all die in the next movies?

Predictions:
☼ At least two or three of the deaths listed above will not occur. Dobby and Colin Creevey come to mind, and possibly Crabbe. Given Dobby's excision from the movies since book 2, the writers may be conjuring a different deus ex machina to get our folks out of the Malfoys' basement.
☼ The Dumbledore-Grindelwald story will be trimmed almost into nonexistence. Dumbledore's sexuality might be hinted at (more than in the books, anyway) but will not be overtly revealed.
☼ The scene at Bathilda Bagshot's house will be WAY less cool than it is in the book. It will seem like far less of a close call.
☼ The frequent issues of wands being broken, lost, replaced with inferior ones, and disobeying their owners will be pushed to the background or forgotten. Harry's wand might break but it will not be the heart-wrenching loss it is in the book.
☼ The exposition-heavy trip to the Lovegood residence will be replaced by a 2-minute conversation about the Hallows. There will be no explosion.
☼ The Kreacher subplot with Regulus' locket will be trimmed down significantly or cut. This is in line with the removal of house elves and SPEW from most of the movies.
☼ Scenes at 12 Grimmauld Place will total less than 20 minutes in the films.

If all the above predictions come true, the pair of movies could still be excellent, but I'm still hoping for a closer adaptation given the freedom to work within two lengthy movies. Imagine the shit that could have made it into The Half-Blood Prince if there were another 2+ hours.

On that note, I think I've said all I needed to say. I hope, after this, I can begin to enjoy the movie. It wasn't that bad, you know.