I started Couch-to-5k on January 19th. For those not in the know, it's a 9-week beginner's running program that uses intervals of walking and running to help people break into running and increase their stamina. By the end of the program, runners are able to go for at least 30 minutes, which is about how long it takes to run a 5k if you're capable but not too speedy. Week 1 starts out with 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds of walking alternating. Given that I couldn't really run for 60 seconds, it was a leap for me to start the program, but I had a couple things going for me. First, I had just lost several pounds in a short amount of time and was feeling GREAT. Second, I had purchased running shoes which I had used a little outside and I knew I at least would not perish after three strides. And third, I had just joined a gym with a slew (yes, a slew) of treadmills. The treadmills were probably the most important because they helped me ease into running and gave me supreme control over the timing and parameters of each run.
With the exception of a few delays from minor strains (not running-related, but when you can't breathe deeply, it's not a good idea to exert yourself), I kept with the 3-day-a-week program and never had to repeat a day. I was surprised because I expected to have to repeat some of the early runs before being able to do the longer intervals. Week 3 jumps from 90 second runs to 3 full minutes; I laughed when I saw it the first time and thought, Well that shit ain't gonna happen for a while. But I did it, and it was fine. Then in week 4, the 3-minute runs are the short intervals, and there are two 5-minute runs each day. I didn't believe I could transition into that without having to modify it or repeat days. But I did fine. Week 5 ends with a 20-minute run, no walking intervals necessary. I honestly thought I would have to take breaks, if only to puke, and that 20 minutes was way beyond my ability. It was difficult, but also fine. Week 6 had a similar story, progressing through the week to a 25-minute run.
After Day 2 of Week 6, I had a crazy thought. You know, I mused to myself, as I am wont to do, if I'm supposed to be able to run 25 minutes next time, what if I just ran a fuckin' 5k? (I often curse in my inner monologues.) I've been getting through about 2 miles in the recent runs, so why not just try for 3.1 miles? What's the worst that could happen? I'm only supposed to run for 25 minutes anyway, so if I hit that number then the rest is gravy.
Thursday, the day after my previous run (and, admittedly, a day I was supposed to do lifting or crosstraining), I went for it. I had eaten an entire candy bar earlier, I was feeling saucy, and I was ready for anything. Having learned from my previous C25K days that starting fast is a great recipe for burning out right away, I did a full warm-up beforehand and started out at 4mph, which is literally the slowest speed I am able to run. Some people use this as their walking speed, and those people can go straight to hell. By the mid-way point, I had jacked it up to about 4.3mph, and ended up hitting maybe 4.5mph somewhere in there.
When I got on the treadmill, I loaded up my most recent running playlist and started running. And I didn't stop until I hit 3.1 miles. I had some feelings of doubt around the midway point, when I was getting tired and knew that I had expended more than half of my immediately-available energy, and therefore would not necessarily be able to finish. But by the time I hit about 2 miles, I had become reinvigorated and knew that this shit was happening. Stopping was no longer an option. Within a half mile of finishing, I didn't even think about stopping anymore, I just thought about how awesome I was.
That feeling stuck with me for a WHILE. I felt like Dory from Finding Nemo remembering the address of P. Sherman (42 Wallaby Way, Sidney). Every five seconds, I thought, Holy shit, I ran 5k today. Like, at once. I'm fucking awesome. I contemplated telling the guy at my gym's front desk, but I felt like that was unnecessary. Besides, his feelings would never be as amped as mine, and it would undoubtedly be a let-down to see his positive but subdued reaction. So I texted Dan (see prev. sentence) and posted on Fitocracy and Facebook (yes, in that order), and walked home. That's right - I walked the fuck home after running a 5k. Like a boss.
Feeding off of this vibe, I took some time on Friday to look at Fitocracy quests to see what I could theoretically do in a gym session. I wasn't at all sore from the 5k (though I suspect that my sore calves over the weekend might have been related) and wanted to recapture that jazzed up feeling from the day before. I ended up running a 12-minute mile on Friday (something that had been a 3-months-out goal only like 2 weeks before) and finish 4 total quests on Fitocracy. None of them were particularly monstrous challenges (well, doing 100 jumping jacks isn't monsterous, but it is a pain in the ass), but I still felt pretty great completing them. It certainly didn't trump my 5k accomplishment by any means, but it was a nice way to close out the week.
Things I learned from these two days:
- I am capable of doing a LOT more than I assumed my limits were.
- Mental energy and physical energy are not the same thing, and I don't require big reserves of both in order to accomplish great things.
The problem now is that the high of victory from Thursday is something I wish to recapture at all costs. But it was such a monumental, concrete, specific yet not nitpicky goal, that I'm not even sure what the next thing is. I don't know if I want to hit a faster time, run a longer distance, or just focus on actual races (the first of which is May 5th, 7 weeks away). I could also have strength training goals, either with reps or weight. One of my other monumental goals when I joined the gym was to do a pull-up (well really, starting with a chin-up is slightly easier, but that's splitting hairs). Maybe I should focus on some sweet lats and try to do a pull-up before a certain date. I dunno. I didn't even realize that running a 5k was such a big thing for me, nor did I anticipate this sort of happy but lost feeling once I did it. This "now what?" scenario is new to me - I've always had something to do. Rather, I've always had something I should be doing.
Yesterday, because it was nice out (but mostly for shits and/or giggles), I ran home from work. I had to do intervals because it was my first time running not on a treadmill since starting C25K in January (and because Kenmore Square to Brighton is uphill most of the way, and because I was going into the wind, yadda yadda). I knew that intervals would happen, and I ran the vast majority of the distance, but I still didn't quite get the glorious feeling of completion and success that I got last week. I knew I had done well, and I had that mild feeling of satisfaction that comes from exercise in general, but the mental/emotional boost wasn't there. But instead of being all pissy or sad about it, I'm just going to figure out what the next thing is that's going to make me feel like I won a bowling championship.
I'm still figuring it out. I want it to be major but not so far off that it's unrealistic or insufficiently motivating. I want it to be more exhilarating than shaving a few seconds off my time or adding incremental distance. I want it to be epic. And as I learned from last Thursday, apparently I require that others find it epic too. So I better find something that other people think is bad-ass. Fuck if I know what that is. My next vague plan is to focus on strength training because now that I know I can physically finish the distance of the Zombie 5k, I need to be able to complete the obstacles too. Information about their exact nature is hard to come by, but I know that there's climbing, crawling, and other such activities involved. Basically, I should just train for Ninja Warrior, and be happy when it ends up being just a 4-foot wall.
The trouble, I think, right now with my motivation is that my weight loss has slowed to the point of being almost non-existent (net loss over the last month has been just over 2 lbs). I'm not really one to obsess over the scale, but I got very, very used to big losses every week, like clockwork, and I'm now missing that continual motivation/reinforcement. My scale used to tell me, "Yes, mademoiselle, you are doing ze right tsings. Also, zose jeans look very fetching on you." (My scale is French. Obvs.) Now it just kind of shrugs and takes a nap. It is le tired. If I stayed this weight forever, but kept losing inches and gaining strength/stamina/ability, I think I would probably become comfortable with that. But shit, I'm trying to win a free year at my gym in a weight loss contest, and if my body doesn't get its shit together by Easter, it can kiss that $228 goodbye!
But really, what I need to do is listen to my own advice and remember how I got started with this. I spend a lot of time online telling distraught and discouraged people that hard work pays off and that the body is not just a machine that you operate to achieve exact results. I also tell a lot of people to ignore the scale if they know they're doing things correctly. So I should just try a little of my own medicine. When I first started exercising, even losing a single pound was pretty exciting because the number had been going the other way for so long that just reversing course was great. I felt like a champion just a little bit every time I got home from work and changed into my workout clothes even though I wanted to change into pajamas. But with my successes and new habits, I have now developed new (harsher) expectations of myself, and the expectations have become associated with things that I can't really control. I can decide what to eat (and how much), when to work out, how hard to try...but I can't decide what the results of those efforts will be. My self-assessment needs to move away from How did I change myself today? and move towards What bad-assery did I accomplish today? If I can be in that mindset, AND find something goal-related to get jazzed about, then I'll be all set.
Today? Headed to the gym to lift weights. Upping my deadlift weight from where I started a few weeks ago. Maybe adding some pull-up negatives for functional training. Enough talk. Ima go
see about gettin' swole.
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